Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Songs About Real(er) Love

So a couple of weeks ago I did a guest post for my friends Tanisha and Sudhir's lovely music blog Monday Mephobics and while researching songs I found a bunch of... "alternative" love songs.

Pop music is just waaaay to saturated with a certain kind of drippy, Disney version of love and it can get a little frustrating that most of our lived experiences of it have very little in common. This of course to say nothing of the complexities of marriage or long term relationships or (big scary voice) Child Raising.

So take a listen to these three songs and lemme know what you think. And don't worry, these aren't some misanthropic ballads; just keep an open mind. :)

'Adult female : A Song' by Hank Green

This first one just really struck me right from the opener:

This song is for a girl
No wait, I changed my mind
This song is for an adult female

And from there on just goes on to talk about a more measured, reasonable experience of what love is like. Which seems pretty cool especially in comparison to songs like 'Grenade' (Bruno Mars) which just sound stressful.

'If I Didn't Have You' by Tim Minchin

This song is probably my absolute favourite in this set. I think the notion of "Soulmates", perpetuated by countless hours of all forms of popular media is probably one of the most destructive ideas that have ever happened.

Not destructive with the spectacular visibility of a nuclear bomb perhaps but definitely in a more quiet, insidious kind of way. Think about it, if there were truly only one perfect person out there, then the stakes are unbelievably high! It would justify any sort of shitty behaviour on your part if, say, your soulmate were already in a relationship or a marriage. Even if they had children. Even if they were leaving town to go across the country for a new job. Even if they said they didn't love you back... (let that one sink in for a minute)

On top of that it probably doesn't help marriages because at the first sign of any discomfort you'd be confronted with the thought that it wasn't supposed to be this way if your partner is your soul mate. And that's ridiculous because I shouldn't be the one to tell you that any kind of commitment is arduous and tedious at times, and the idea of finding your soulmate puts such immense pressure on everyone feeling happy all the time.

So for me it was really refreshing to have someone say:

Your love is one in a million
You couldn’t buy it at any price.
But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other loves,
Statistically, some of them would be equally nice.

Take a listen, the song is the first 5 minutes or so and then he talks about his family and his wife in-case anyone gets butthurt.

Btw, check out We've All Been Raised on Evil Love Stories if you're also a recovering Disney-love-aholic. Also Soulmates by Xkcd's 'What If?' for a more mathematical break-down of why this idea doesn't work.

'I'm Not Edward Cullen' by Hank Green

This one I thought was really cute, and it's another one by Hank Green where:

"...Hank and Katherine Sing about how hard it is to live up to the example of a perfectly beautiful, perpetually-seventeen, bodily-functionless, millionaire vampire (who owns a freaking Aston Martin for crap's sake!)"
All I know is that I felt quite similarly during school when the girls would friggin' go out with dudes from the upper grades. It's like "Bro... not cool!". :p

[Bonus] 'The Science Love Song' by ASAPScience

One more song for all you lovely people. This one doesn't any point or anything, it's just cute and (super) nerdy and is more of a classic love song with a bit of a spin.

That's all from me... lemme know if you've come across any good songs in the comments.

[Update] Extended Honourable Mentions

1. She Called Me Bhaiyya : https://youtu.be/u2-cCLAvMCo
A song about a guy being rakhi-zoned (Indian friend-zoned) by a girl he likes. I don't think the song is specifically taking sides but whether you take it as a personal anthem or a wake-up call or whatever is entirely representative of your personal state IMHO.